Тонкого Английского Юмора тред. Вы переводите народные мудрости на ингриш в британском стиле, я их озвучиваю и выкладываю.Для примера: https://my.mixtape.moe/swxbrm.mp3https://my.mixtape.moe/xpwreu.mp3
Бампусики
бампуем
Бампучечки
Зелёный слоникGREEN ELEPHANTPlease get old folks, children and pregnant women away from the screenCome in!You called for me, comrade captain?I did.Two have been brought.Do i register them?Register, as it is required.I understand.Then you're free.Listen...what time is it? do you know?Just approximately...can you sense it?I ask what time is it...Just a moment, wait.Anyway, it's all the same what time it is.I don't care what's going on there.Then don't fucking talk. Sit down.Sit down, sit down...one can't do much sitting here.Here you can only stand and rest.Some bullshit...Stepan Razin...i don't give a fuck. Those drops don't do a fucking thing.Drops, drops...Sit down and give it a try.Sit the fuck down...I'll give it a try now.Earlier, when i was still in normal service, i did twenty push-upsevery day...before dinner, i did twenty push-ups...Fuck, that's like some bird shitting, you know.I'll show you how i did push-ups. Look.At first i did like this...one time, softly, and after that...Do you get it?And about twenty times like that before dinner.Then spirits appeared in our garrison,and i took about 200 grams before dinner...and then i stopped doing push-ups.How you fucking get on my nerves!Oh, well, why are you becoming angry?Being angry will dearly cost you, here are just we two, understand?It fucking keeps dripping. We'll get watered down and that's all.We'll just get watered down, and that's all. you undertand?Do you do push-ups yourself?I fucking do it!I see: a buffalo.It would be good for you in the army.Such boar as you are!And you? Aren't you a boar?Right. That's because i don't do push-ups for half a year already.And i've become fucking fat as a meatball.Earlier i was...i get on the bar...hang there a little, stretch myself...and then i do full circle with the first try and so twenty times like that.I jump down, stretch my arms calmly...Alright, i didn't want to...i can keep silent.If you don't want to listen to me...You're a tough guy, that's right. You have tough arms, legs....this problem worries me very much. I read a poem once...i don't fucking remember poet's namehe wrote, shit, that Ivan the Terrible went crazy, oh, fuck, Stepan Razinwhat's the fucking difference? Stepan the Terrible?well, they kept dripping water on his head and he fucking lost it.And what's with him?Went crazy.That's chinese torture.Chinese, what's the difference?Chinese, by the way, you know, i read, too...I don't feel a fucking thing....they have these old people, seventy yearsand they do special exercises every morning.They go out of their homes...they all live in villages...Well, i was born in a village, too...and they...they have this capital, i don't know,Shanghai or what...then all old people go outside, old hags...and they're poor, too...they have poverty just like us...and they do these special...[Kazi-czuan]...anyway, some kind of their shit.Do you know about it?Respect, bro!It all depends on your breathing.You won't do a damn thing.You have to do it for twenty years...You're doing fucking great.Perhaps, you have no problems with getting chick, too.Stop talking fucking nonsense.How the saying goes: as long as you have a hard-on...I have a hard-on, i have!Better sit down.Alright, why are you so...My character is...i have a calm character.I have a calm character. If i use this as a bar in the morningsi can break it and drown everything here.If we unscrew this shit...You're a tough guy and you'll get away, understand?But i will be sitting there on the fence.What fence? There's no fence.But what is there? - Cock knows what.Some kind of grid. You can't get out through there.There are wires and three phase current. Touch it and you're fucked.Mother said i would be ok, but father told i would get fucked.Who would fuck?My father said to me. But mother, bitch,Выбери небольшой отрывок буду несказанно рад
про выбрать небольшой отрывок прочитал уже в самом конце, лол, когда заканчивал запись (я как володарский)https://my.mixtape.moe/knevts.mp3
Побампаю дял тебя, анончик
>>134898961пик трустори
анончик с ЗС, ты хоть скажи что получил ссылку тоесли что мое произношение далеко от идеала, я потренироваться хочу
>>134900153Боже как же годно у тебя получается20 push up
>>134898427 (OP)>пикс Иди нахуй отсюда, чмошница
>>134900465>>134900508
>>134900590мне кажется ты ошибся тредом
>>134900590ну перевеел мне гугл транслейт пику как peak а не как spadeкак-то похуй
такс такс, ну, анончики?
-Доктора, доктора скорей!-Ахаха, Здравствуйте, я доктор Ливси! Да! А в чем дело? Гахаха!-Доктор, помогите, капитан ранен!!-Ранен!? Ха ха ха! Да нет, у него удар от неизменной приверженности к рому ..ха ха ха га! Ну ладно, попытаемся спасти эту трижды, хахаха, никому ненужную жизнь! Гыгых! О, увеличена печень, очень, увеличена селезёнка...ахаха ...аритмия…бугага.. замечательно... Какая прелесть!-Где Черный Пёс???-Успокойтесь, здесь нет никаких собак! Запомните, если вы не бросите пить, вы очень скоро умрете! Слово РОМ и слово СМЕРТЬ для Вас означает одно и тоже! Вы меня понияли!? Бугага! До свидания, Джим, до свидания мой мальчик!\И собственно из гуглтранслейта Doctor, doctor more soon!-Ahaha, Hello, I'm Dr. Livesey! Yes! What's the matter? Gahaha!Doctor, help, injured captain !!-Injured!? Ha ha ha! No, he hit on the continued commitment to the rum ..ha ha ha ha! Well, try to save the three, hahaha, no unnecessary life! Gygyh! Oh, enlarged liver, much enlarged spleen ... ahaha ... arrhythmia ... LOL .. great ... How lovely!Where's Black Dog ???-Uspokoytes, There are no dogs! Remember, if you do not give up drinking, you will soon die! The word and the word RUM Death for you is the same thing! You toponium me !? LOL! Goodbye, Jim, good-bye, my boy!Я верю что ты сумеешь сохранить харизму персонажа
Бамп
А ты поторопись! У нас сейчас обед! Котлетки! С макарошками? С пюрешкой! С пюрешкооой!!! На обеде встретимся.And you hurry! Now we have dinner! Cutlets! With makaroshkami? With pyureshkoy! With pyureshkoooy !!! At a dinner meet.Переводи с транслитом)
я тут, сейчас буду всё записывать
>>134901963Ураодному скучновато
>>134901133https://my.mixtape.moe/uwgwrl.mp3я уже не помню как звучит оригинал
>>134901744https://my.mixtape.moe/bjlftd.mp3
>>134902171Есть какянебуть новая инфа по абдулю 3d8k столыпину и тд?
>>134902262Столыпин стримил что-то вродеОт Абдуля не слуху, ни духусветлая память
Рядом чудотворный крест с иконами,Чтоб играли там колоколаС переливами и перезвонами.Наколи мне домик у ручья,Пусть течёт по воле струйкой тонкою.Чтобы от него портной судьяНе отгородил меня решёткою.Нарисуй алеющий закат.Розу за колючей ржавой проволокой.Строчку: "Мама, я не виноват!"Наколи, и пусть стереть попробуют.Если места хватит - нарисуйЛодку, с парусами ветра полными.Уплыву, волки, вот вам...Чтобы навсегда меня запомнили.И легло на душу, как покой.Встретить мать - одно моё желание.Крест коли, чтоб я забрал с собойИзбавление, но не покаяние.Не осуждай меня, мама,Я ведь только тем и жил,Что знал - ты меня ждёшь.Я знаю, ты плачешь вечерами и видишь сны,Где я совсем ещё маленький,Подкрадываюсь к тебе и закрываю твои глаза ладошками.Ты нарочно говоришь: "Отец? Татьянка?"Я смеюсь: "Нет-нет, не угадала!"Отцу с Танюхой привет.Деньги в конверте не шли,Суки всё вынут,Но я же назло им вернусь,Потому что ты меня ждёшь!Near the miraculous cross with icons,To play there is a bellWith overflow and chimes.Pinned me to a house near a stream,Let the will of the stream flows through the thin.To judge from his tailorI do not fenced off my grill.Draw aleyuschy sunset.Rose rusty barbed wire.Line: "Mom, I'm not guilty!"Pinholes, and let them try to erase.If there is enough - drawThe boat, with sails full of wind.Swim away, wolves, here ...To be remembered forever.And it fell on the soul, as the rest.Meet the mother - my one desire.Cross if that I took with himDeliverance, but not repentance.Do not blame me, my mother,I'm just so, and lived,What is known - you are waiting for me.I know you're crying in the evening and see the dreams,Where I'm still small,I sneak up on you and shut your eyes palms.You deliberately say, "Father Tatyanka?"I laugh: "No, no, do not guess!"Father with Tanyuha hello.Money in envelope did not go,Suki all removed,But I'll come back to spite them,Because you're waiting for me!Мое уважение
>>134898427 (OP)
Kaspy: Oh shit, I'm sorry!Burak: Sorry for what? Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks, 'specially since they're such good size and all.Kaspy: Yeah, I see that! Your daddy gave you good advice.Burak: It gets bigger when I pull on it.Kaspy: mmmmmm...Burak: Sometimes, I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin!Kaspy: Well my daddy taught me a few things too, like, uh, how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth, instead of your own hands.Burak: Will you show me?Kaspy: I'd be right happy to!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b40QdTRaqFkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b40QdTRaqFk
Я говорил с Богом, ОП покинул нас
Вот скажи мне, американец, в чём сила? Разве в деньгах? Вот и брат говорит, что в деньгах. У тебя много денег, и чего? Я вот думаю, что сила в правде. У кого правда — тот и сильней. Вот ты обманул кого-то, денег нажил. И чего, ты сильнее стал? Нет, не стал. Потому что правды за тобой нет. А тот, кого обманул, за ним правда, значит, он сильней. Да? Дмитрий Громов, мани, давай.Tell me, an American, what power? Is the money? That brother said that money. You have a lot of money, and why? I was thinking that the power of the truth. Who has the truth - and the stronger. Here you have deceived someone, money amassed. And then you become stronger? No, he did not. Because the truth is not for you. And the one who cheated him the truth, then he is stronger. Yes? Dmitry Gromov, money, come on.
Буду бампать до потери сознания
Извините ребят, с работы написали, дальше записывать не могу ОП
>>134904386создавай еще такой тредик, как нибудь
>>134904386Пиздуй РАБотать.
